Dealing With Jealousy & Mistrust in Your LDR

One of the biggest issues in relationships, especially LDR’s, is jealously, and trust issues. You’re hundreds to thousands of miles away from your partner and rather than seeing them a few times a week, you see them 1-2 times a year. You both have your own friends, hobbies, jobs, and most of the time you’re wondering what they’re up to, where they are, and who they’re with.

This tends to bring out various irrational fears in us all: will they find someone closer to home? Will they let the distance win? Will they meet someone better? It’s okay to feel jealousy from time to time. It’s in our very nature to be jealous, and to express it in different ways. Feeling jealous just shows how much you care for your partner, how much you love them, and it’s okay for you to show it, but show it in a healthy way.

A common reason for mistrust or jealousy may be that either you or your partner were hurt or even cheated on in a previous relationship – I know this is true in my case. Make sure you do what you can to make your partner feel at ease, but obviously you don’t want their jealousy to affect your life, and who you hang out with in your spare time. Below are some tips which can help you to reduce yours and your partner’s jealousy and trust issues.

It’s normal to seek reassurance

It’s okay to look for it from your partner. Don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about your feelings, because it’s important you are honest with one another. However, you also want to make sure you don’t come across as paranoid, or possessive, and you don’t want to make your partner feel like they are being accused of anything. You should make sure they feel reassured that you trust them, you know they wouldn’t cheat or betray you, and simply discuss why you, or they, feel the way they do.

Have a life outside of your relationship

It’s very easy when in a LDR to put off your activities and socializing time to try and find little intervals to talk to or see your partner. Both of you have your own lives, own timetables, and own friendship groups, and that needs to be respected. The great thing about a LDR is that you can be in a loving relationship and also have time to focus on growing independently.

Unless something has happened, believe your partner

This is a great way to build up trust in the relationship. Believe what your partner is telling you. Unless they have given you any reason to doubt them, you have nothing to worry about. They really do love you, and they wouldn’t put up with a LDR if they didn’t. If you don’t believe your partner when they tell you where they’re going or who they’re seeing, you’re likely to just end up imagining the worst case scenario – which will just lead to distrust, and likely fighting.

Try to forget the distance aspect

The only difference between yours and normal relationships is the distance, and the frequency of visits. If you can forget the distance aspect and focus on your communication skills and your compromises like you would in any relationship, it’ll really help build trust.

About Michael

Michael, 22, is a writer for Long Distance Diaries. He works in Data Services, is an avid reader, writer, blogger, tweeter, and was in a LDR for almost 2 years. Twitter - @mikejwake