FAQs About Long Distance Relationships

Here’s a few quick answers to the questions we get the most.

  1. What does LDR actually mean?

LDR stands for Long distance relationship. This means any relationship where people are separated by distance. Even if you live fairly close to one another, but you cannot afford to travel frequently, or see your SO as much as you would like to, it refers to LDR. Making a relationship work is something that both people commit to, both long distance and non-distance.

  1. Are long distance relationships “real” relationships?

Relationships are real as much as you make them -real-. Despite the distance, LDR couples have much more opportunity to get to know each other in-depth pretty soon, as the most common (and only) way of interaction is actually only talking/typing to one another. This way, you will have a sensation that you know your SO for years, even if you are talking for relatively short period of time. As long as you are confident and authentic about what you like, and who you choose to be in relationship with, there is nobody who has the right to say that your relationship is not “real”.

  1. Are Long Distance Relationships common?

Long Distance Relationships are actually more common today then several years ago. Number of LDRs are increasing, mostly because one of the partners has to work in another state or country, or because of military obligations. Couples often meet through social media as well. There was a study made in United States, that showed that around 14 million people in the US consider themselves to be in a LDR (Dr. Gregory T. Guldner, founder of Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships).

  1. Why do people choose to be in LDR in the first place?

Most couples do not actually plan to be in a Long Distance Relationships. It is unexpected, and it is a choice and commitment of both partners to maintain contact and stay in the relationship, expecting the waiting to end at some point in the future.

  1. How often should LDR couples visit each other?

As often as you can afford to visit each other. Try planning your visits in advance. Being together for longer periods of time – less frequent , or having several shorter visits -but more frequent is completely up to your choice. My personal preference is spending as much time in a row as I can with my boyfriend, because it allows us to feel how would it be if we actually lived together.

  1. Do couples in LDR cheat more the couples who live in the same city?

We cannot just simply blame the distance. Being in LDR is not for everybody. If  you are in long distance relationship, you know how much patience and commitment it requires. Anyone who is not willing to invest in relationship, in order to create trust, intimacy and connection will probably (hopefully) not even start the relationship in the first place. Think of it this way – if your SO is going to cheat on you, he/she will do it no matter how far away you live from each other. Anyways, statistics from a long-distance-relationship research show that couples who are long-distance do not cheat more then couples who are geographically closer one to another (Queen’s University, Department of Psychology – Emma Dargie, Karen L. Blair, Corrie Goldfinger and Caroline F. Pukall).

  1. How to deal with others judging my relationship for being long-distance?

It is not just about relationship judging. It is just about anything related personally to you. Do not let somebody else’s opinion affect your confidence. It mainly depends on who is giving you the advice, or who is judging you. Always ask yourself: Are they in a happy relationship? Is the person who is judging me someone who was in LDR themselves and they know what they are talking about? If the answer is -no- then you realize that they do not have a valid arguments. And heads up, anyone who is only judging just to put you down is definitely not worth your time and emotions.

  1. What are the best ways to keep the communication going through the distance?

Use any type of communication that works well both for you and your partner. Some couples prefer talking on the phone, while others might prefer webcam-dates. Try using apps on your phone that are created for long-distance-couples, such as Couple App. Do not stress over texting throughout the day, not all couples work that way, and time zone might get in the way. Setting a precise timing or day of the week that would be reserved only for you and your partner, helps creating the bond and sense of closeness.

  1. What about trust and jealousy issues?

The best thing is to talk it out with your partner. Always find a way to communicate and tell them exactly how you are feeling, so that they can reassure you about their feelings. Just hearing your partner’s opinion and knowing once more that you are the one he/she chooses to be with, can help tremendously. Also, having your SO know exactly what are your worries, helps them to be even better about showing you their own feelings and thoughts, and building that trust.

  1. How to know when is the right time to meet in person?

Always be sure to know the person you are talking to. If they avoid sharing photos or video calls, it is a huge sign that they might not be who they say they are. Safety is always first, be sure to know them before meeting them in person. A good idea is to include some of your family members, and introduce them through Skype calls first. Also talk to members of their family. If everything seems all right, I would suggest to meet as soon as you can, if you can afford it, because then it will lead to your further plans and “official” commitment to the relationship.

About Tea

Tea is currently working as assistant professor on Music Academy. She is a composer and writes music for orchestras, movie and theater. She enjoys traveling and getting to know new cultures and their traditional music and instruments. Tea is blogger on tumblr (texfanta1.tumblr.com). She is in long distance relationship for more then 5 years, and documents her journey on tumblr. She is actively researching psychotherapy techniques and yoga techniques in order to understand better the human nature, and explore the ways to improve relationships, achieve full potential in all areas of life, as well as share the insight through her writing.