LGBTQAI+ LDR: Awkward Dates & Coming Out

Hi Andy & Joana! Tell us a little about yourselves.

We’re a long distance couple both from Portugal. Even though we are both from the same country we are rarely together because we live in different cities and don’t have the schedule or the money to be together every week.

We started talking in September 16th of 2015 and since then we just kept getting more interested in each other and fell in love. None of us were out of the closet at the time so we couldn’t meet, Andy’s parents even threatened to take her phone away because they found out she was talking to me so the beginning was really rough. We were only 15 and 16 at the time so we couldn’t just travel to meet in person so I had to tell my mom and since then things only got better fortunately. 🙂

After nearly a year of taking we finally got to be together more often and that made us much more closer and with both our families accepting our relationship being together and sleeping in each other’s houses became a more common thing gladly.

You mentioned your parents initially being disapproving of the whole thing. Have they adjusted over time?

In the beginning they weren’t very happy about it but after a few long months they adjusted and were available. Our parents now are very accepting, the train station is like a 40 minutes drive from Andy’s house and they don’t mind going there twice during the weekend just so we can be together. Both our parents are really cool with it, they always try to make plans for the weekend by including us in family stuff and things like it. I’m happy I can say we got really lucky in that part.

That’s great that they eventually came around! Not everyone is so lucky, as you said. How did they two of your first meet? What were your first impressions of each other?

We met through a dating website (okcupid). Actually neither of us were using it to look for a relationship it was just because we didn’t have anything else to do and just to pass time so we both got really lucky 🙌 I liked [Andy] since the beginning but she thought I was a little boring while writing 😅 Eventually we skyped each other and that brought us much closer because we got more comfortable and started opening up a lot more.

What was your first meeting like in person?

The first time we met was actually really awkward. It was a few days after I came out to my mom and I asked her if she could take me to meet Andy. We arranged a mall and Andy went with her mom and her sister (her mom thought she was just meeting a friend). It was on 29th of December and we were both so anxious for that day!! When we first saw each other we hugged for what felt like forever 😍 The most awkward thing was having her mom always next to us and in that 2 hours we were together we only kissed twice and, because we never dated anyone before, they were both too awkward 😅 Our first meet can be defined in one word: awkward.

I think it is totally normal for the first meet to be a little awkward! Especially with parents involved. At least it worked out in the end, right? How do you two stay connected online?

We talk all day through Whatsapp, during classes sometimes we have to stop but that’s just like one hour and a half. Right after we get home we immediately Skype each other and we sleep with Skype connected because it brings a sense of comfort we can’t find any other way while we’re not together. We spend the weekend together once a month or twice with luck and all the holidays are also spent together.

Thank you so much for letting me interview you two. I have one final question: do you have any advice for the readers of LDD?

Just hold on. Yes LDRs are really hard but the distance isn’t forever. Even if you’re from different countries, if you truly love each other and want to be together you can work it out. You’ll obviously cry countless nights because you wish they were there more than anything, but I can promise it’s all so, so worth it.


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About Tammy

Tammy is the creator of Long Distance Diaries. Apart from her passion for the LDR community, she is a professional cat lady, avid gamer and full-time nursing student.