Meeting for the First Time: How to Cope with Nerves

One of the most frequent questions we get is, how do I cope with nerves before our first meet? And let me tell you, sometimes you don’t. Sometimes those nerves become impossible to shake until you’re finally together. But the best thing about them is that this particular event that’s making your heart beat out of your chest, is something that’s important and special to you and it’s worth the jittery, sometimes aggressive butterflies.

Possible causes for nerves:

  • Are they going to like me in real life?
  • Am I going to like them in real life?
  • Is our online compatibility going to translate in person?
  • Will I feel comfortable with them?
  • What if we don’t have enough to talk about?


How to prepare:

  • Openly discuss any insecurities about the initial meeting. It’s important that you’re on the same page with each other instead of having thoughts that may cause you to second guess yourself every minute leading up to it. It’s already difficult enough staying calm during that wait for you or them to arrive, let alone dealing with that on your own.
  • Remind yourself that they know you. There are hardly any limits to getting to know someone online nowadays, apart from the physicality. But they know what you look like, they know what your laugh sounds like, they know whether your teeth are straight or not and they still adore you.
  • Don’t put too many expectations on it being a perfect moment. It might not be like everyone else’s seemingly fairytale first meet, but it will certainly be your moment as a couple and that is the most important thing to remember.
  • If you suffer from anxiety, take a few minutes to breath and centre yourself before busting through those arrivals doors. You owe yourself those some time to collect your thoughts and prepare your mind.
  • For some, it may also be useful to meet in a public place to ease the pressure of being together for the first time. This is up to you completely, but whatever you choose, be safe!


What they don’t tell you about the first meet:

  • It’s likely to be just the slightest bit awkward, considering it’s a whole new world for you both.
  • Making eye contact for the first time doesn’t feel natural. It may take a few minutes to feel comfortable enough to do properly because you’ve been so used to staring at each other through a screen, not eye to eye.
  • Whether it be nerves or exhaustion, your voices don’t sound familiar to each other right away. But that unfamiliarity does fade the more you talk, and once it does, it starts to feel like home.
  • It’s a moment you’ll always long to relive, no matter how awkward or perfect because it’s the moment you moved your relationship from online to in person and that’s unforgettable.

If you’ve met your LDR partner, how did your first meet go? If you haven’t, what do you think it’ll be like?




About Tianna

Tianna is a 23 year old from Australia. She works part time as a business administrator, but spends most of her time on music and writing. She has been in an LDR for almost 4 years.