Telling People You’re in an LDR

Telling people you’re in an LDR can be really nerve-wracking, some people may be happy for you, even if they’re a little worried about the distance, and some may be dismissive or completely against it.

I asked my SO how he told his parents and how they reacted, he said he was lucky because they asked him who he was constantly on the phone to and saw that he was happy, so they never really questioned the distance.

My experience telling people was slightly different, though the topic came up in the same way. My mum was accepting of it, but I think that was partly due to the fact I was 19, so she didn’t see it as an unrealistic/“schoolgirl” crush. My dad wasn’t dismissive, per se, but he was somewhat uninterested, probably thinking it wouldn’t last. My brother didn’t care and my extended family members just saw it as an online fantasy relationship thing, even after we met. That gradually faded when we had met in person multiple times and they had all met him too. Now they all ask about how he’s doing, whenever I happen to see them.

There are quite a few ways to tell someone close to you that you’re in a long distance relationship:

Write Them a Letter

It can help you get your feelings down, without rambling and becoming emotional. This allows you to edit and filter what you want to say and will allow you to explain yourself and your story in the best way possible. This is a good option if their initial reaction wasn’t a positive one or is suspected not to be.

Sit Down Together

You can either explain it to them one-on-one or as a group, potentially even slipping it into a related conversation. It may help to have someone that is already supportive of your relationship with you if you are afraid that the reaction may not be totally positive. Try telling a best friend or someone you know that will receive the news positively first so you are not discouraged.

In a Café/Park

A public place may make it easier to tell someone, as it should make it a less volatile situation, if you think they could have a negative reaction.

Over Text

Like writing a letter, it gives the person time to process the news before responding and also allows you to be as articulate as possible.

You can be creative, if your friends/family would be receptive to that, or you can keep it simple and to the point. You know them, so judge for yourself when the best time to bring it up is – mentioning LDRs as a conversation topic could help you figure out what their reaction may be to you being in one.

It doesn’t need to be rushed, unless you have plans to meet your LDR partner, then it may be better to tell your family/friends beforehand. If they could, having them meet in person or over video chat could help them see your LDR partner as a real person and not just an online “fantasy”.

Good luck!

How did you tell your friends and family about your LDR? Let us know in the comments down below!

About Kai

Kai, 21, is a writer on Long Distance Diaries. She is a British Sign Language student who enjoys being creative, watching films/tv shows with her LDR boyfriend, working with d/Deaf people and helping find solutions when someone asks for advice. She and her boyfriend are both part of the LGBT+ community, navigating life's highs and lows together, despite the distance.