Long distance relationships are challenging, and they take investments such as sleep deprivation because of time differences, being constantly in phase of money saving, or saying -no- to your friend’s party because of your Skype date. Despite this, long distance relationship can be as fulfilling as any romantic relationship, but before you decide to rush into one, there are several topics you could definitely consider discussing with your current or potential partner, and finding your own answers as well 🙂
1. Trust issues
How can I trust you?
In long distance relationship shared understanding is crucial to a relationship’s success. Constantly worrying about where your boyfriend/girlfriend is, or what is he/she doing when you are not communicating can be heartbreaking. Now this can be a little bit awkward to talk about, but it’s better to bring this topic up in the beginning of your relationship. Figure out if both of you can meet eachother’s expectations, and try to be precise about what your partner CAN do in order for both of you to feel trustworthy.
→ For example: How often will you communicate? How many times will you talk during the day? Should you text or call? What are your opinions on being faithful? etc.
2. Plan your visits in advance
How often can we meet in person?
Be realistic about your current situation. Try to plan your visits in advance. LDR couples report that having a date set gives them motivation to move on. Figure out how many times per year/month can you afford to see eachother in real life, and try to stick to the plan. If your partner never talks about meeting in real life, it’s definitely a red flag.
How do we “do it” online?
Many couples report that they are OK without the physical aspect of their relationship, but there are also those who cannot imagine their life without some kind of intimacy. This is something to be considered on your own terms and preferences. After you see what works the best for you, find a way that works for you and you partner. Even though it seems that LDR offers not so many solutions, you can get as creative as you wish through texts, photos, webcam or phone 😉 Anyways, if either you or your partner is not up for this, there should be NO pressure. Be open enough to share your opinion.
→ See SurviveLDR’s article for some ideas.
Is it OK if we date other people?
Every couple has their own set of “rules”. What works for one couple, might not work for other couples. You should be able to agree on what you are allowed to do. Be bold enough to talk about this. Ask your partner if he/she is willing to commit long-term. Maybe you will decide together being able to date other people until you see each other in real life is the best option. Or maybe both of you might agree on being exclusive. It’s up to you to decide.
Am I ready for this?
Before you start a LDR, ask yourself if you are willing to give your time and energy to this kind of relationship. It’s not going to be easy, but you are the one deciding if it’s worth it. Even if you understand that in the end, long distance relationship is not for you, it’s completely ok, and you should feel comfortable to say it to your partner, or potential boyfriend/girlfriend.
In long distance relationships communication is the key. Try to be yourself, and speak your truth from the very beginning. All of us sometimes tend to just let things happen the way they happen, and act in somewhat passive way. But it’s important to be mindful of your own decisions, and to believe in your own power to cultivate the best loving relationship with your partner, day by day. Good luck! ♥
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